Silent Arrogance and complaceny...
Seems like it have been quite awhile that i update this blog. Been very busy with job lookings and many stuff that i don't even feel like updating the blog. But indeed having too many emotions compressed in e heart is something that does not make u feel good or happy and that is exactly what i do sometimes..
Been bz with jobs looking and all e interviews recently and now waiting for all their replies.. Not many seems promising to me though and that kinda discouraged alot to certain extent though i don't really show out alot.. Tue was a hectic day of travelling for me and it is really very expensive.. I really dislike travelling without a concession pass but i guess i have no choice though.. Tue was fun for me though although e travelling around is kinda of boring.. I finally managed to settle e issue of mari's cd key clashing with victor's cd key as i finally managed to get mari a new cd key(not easy to get it though) to install her wc3 so that victor will not have trouble playing in us west when he need/wants to play.. I feel kinda bad for giving him so much trouble in tis issue though.. But well, at least i finally managed to settle it already so it is a load off my mind..
I also spent some time with Choon Lim on tue evening too and was pretty inspired by his sharing on the topic of "Silent Arrogance" which andrew had told him before. I think i do fall into e state of silent arrogance and complaceny sometimes though it was never my intention to judge or be arrogant.. Despite e fact that many times i look down on myself and e weaknesses that i have so glaring have, i still have certain pride and arrogance in certain many areas especially in the areas that i'm good at.. I take pride in e effort tat i have made, in the knowlegde that i have and my capability in it and with that pride, i sometimes and in fact many times judged or look down on ppl that is lousier or worse than me.. The perfectionist self in me refuse to be gracious or kind to ppl that are not as good as me and e pride in me passed judgement on them unknowingly to my own self.. I think one area that my tis arrogance have so brightly stands out is e area of gaming n dota although i'm kinda reluctant to admit it.. Being a experienced player with good knowlegde n skills and as well as being one of the global moderators in Dotaportal have certainly puffed up and make me look down on lousier players or even expect alot from them which is not possible with their level in game..Playing with "someone" have made me more aware of e need to be sensitve to ppl that are not as good as me and e need to supress my own arrogance spirit.. There is a serious need for me to reflect on it now and since God is trying to teach me to be humble in front of ppl, i shall struggle through it slowly.. I have since then decided to resign and step down as a moderator in Dotaportal since i know retaining the "title" is not going to help me in any sense. And anyway i haven't been contributing much to the forum too and so it is also right for me to step down although it is with reluctance that i decided to step down from the post..
As what Choon Lim have shared to me.. Sometimes it is not whether we think we are good or not but rather how ppl see us.. I might not think i'm good and most of e times i really dun think i'm good too but yet surprisingly ppl think i'm good.. Choon Lim relate a past incidence to me. There was once when me, victoria,andrew and some others went to Clara's house.. I think they were preparing dun know for what thing.. i think christmas party or wat ba.. Some of us ended us playing mahjong and e rest ended up watching a vcd show.. That time, i know i did say that i'm not good at mahjong.. But apparently as what Choon Lim have observed, his conclusion is that i know e game probably better than most of e christians there.. I must admit that i did used to play mahjong pretty often in e past and that is why i know and can observe well in mahjong.. I do not think i'm good but his point is that i should not be saying that i'm not good at playing mahjong or that i don't know how to play since e fact is that i really do know how to play it and e way that i often say things might come across as sacarsm or false humility although i did not have e intentions to do so.. I guess i really need to watch my words sometimes..
I think this form of arrogance n complaceny is surfacing up rather often in many areas of my life and therefore a need to be aware and constantly remember the to be grateful to God who have given me life and everything else that i currently have.. As what Wee Kiong preached yesterday, Jesus is supposed to be the King of our hearts.. Jesus came to be the Kings of our Hearts and through making Him the Lord of our hearts can we stand up to Satan and the temptations of this world which is so prevelant in Singapore.. I simply love this song by the name " Great among the nations" especially e 2nd verse..
Great Among the Nation
The scholars look for Him in vain, their earthly king He never came,
instead a carpenter would start a kingdom of the heart.
Beaten, bruised, He stretched His hands, as God became a dying man,
And king on cross was sacrificed, for the church, His bride.
This is a amazing song of God's greatness and His love for all. I believe the only way to humlitiy is see the God through the heart who although is so great but yet so humble. It is always n gonna be a lifelong challenge to be humble and the journey starts now...
Been bz with jobs looking and all e interviews recently and now waiting for all their replies.. Not many seems promising to me though and that kinda discouraged alot to certain extent though i don't really show out alot.. Tue was a hectic day of travelling for me and it is really very expensive.. I really dislike travelling without a concession pass but i guess i have no choice though.. Tue was fun for me though although e travelling around is kinda of boring.. I finally managed to settle e issue of mari's cd key clashing with victor's cd key as i finally managed to get mari a new cd key(not easy to get it though) to install her wc3 so that victor will not have trouble playing in us west when he need/wants to play.. I feel kinda bad for giving him so much trouble in tis issue though.. But well, at least i finally managed to settle it already so it is a load off my mind..
I also spent some time with Choon Lim on tue evening too and was pretty inspired by his sharing on the topic of "Silent Arrogance" which andrew had told him before. I think i do fall into e state of silent arrogance and complaceny sometimes though it was never my intention to judge or be arrogant.. Despite e fact that many times i look down on myself and e weaknesses that i have so glaring have, i still have certain pride and arrogance in certain many areas especially in the areas that i'm good at.. I take pride in e effort tat i have made, in the knowlegde that i have and my capability in it and with that pride, i sometimes and in fact many times judged or look down on ppl that is lousier or worse than me.. The perfectionist self in me refuse to be gracious or kind to ppl that are not as good as me and e pride in me passed judgement on them unknowingly to my own self.. I think one area that my tis arrogance have so brightly stands out is e area of gaming n dota although i'm kinda reluctant to admit it.. Being a experienced player with good knowlegde n skills and as well as being one of the global moderators in Dotaportal have certainly puffed up and make me look down on lousier players or even expect alot from them which is not possible with their level in game..Playing with "someone" have made me more aware of e need to be sensitve to ppl that are not as good as me and e need to supress my own arrogance spirit.. There is a serious need for me to reflect on it now and since God is trying to teach me to be humble in front of ppl, i shall struggle through it slowly.. I have since then decided to resign and step down as a moderator in Dotaportal since i know retaining the "title" is not going to help me in any sense. And anyway i haven't been contributing much to the forum too and so it is also right for me to step down although it is with reluctance that i decided to step down from the post..
As what Choon Lim have shared to me.. Sometimes it is not whether we think we are good or not but rather how ppl see us.. I might not think i'm good and most of e times i really dun think i'm good too but yet surprisingly ppl think i'm good.. Choon Lim relate a past incidence to me. There was once when me, victoria,andrew and some others went to Clara's house.. I think they were preparing dun know for what thing.. i think christmas party or wat ba.. Some of us ended us playing mahjong and e rest ended up watching a vcd show.. That time, i know i did say that i'm not good at mahjong.. But apparently as what Choon Lim have observed, his conclusion is that i know e game probably better than most of e christians there.. I must admit that i did used to play mahjong pretty often in e past and that is why i know and can observe well in mahjong.. I do not think i'm good but his point is that i should not be saying that i'm not good at playing mahjong or that i don't know how to play since e fact is that i really do know how to play it and e way that i often say things might come across as sacarsm or false humility although i did not have e intentions to do so.. I guess i really need to watch my words sometimes..
I think this form of arrogance n complaceny is surfacing up rather often in many areas of my life and therefore a need to be aware and constantly remember the to be grateful to God who have given me life and everything else that i currently have.. As what Wee Kiong preached yesterday, Jesus is supposed to be the King of our hearts.. Jesus came to be the Kings of our Hearts and through making Him the Lord of our hearts can we stand up to Satan and the temptations of this world which is so prevelant in Singapore.. I simply love this song by the name " Great among the nations" especially e 2nd verse..
Great Among the Nation
The scholars look for Him in vain, their earthly king He never came,
instead a carpenter would start a kingdom of the heart.
Beaten, bruised, He stretched His hands, as God became a dying man,
And king on cross was sacrificed, for the church, His bride.
This is a amazing song of God's greatness and His love for all. I believe the only way to humlitiy is see the God through the heart who although is so great but yet so humble. It is always n gonna be a lifelong challenge to be humble and the journey starts now...
